I'm Dancing When I Was Shaking
Well, I just contemplating about how my life seems to turn upside down in my perspective, while actually, it was gradually waking up in every downturn.
In short, I've been working in a place with great turn over. They literally open for recruitment every day. To be honest, I got the job in easy way (compared to my other college friends). A week after my graduation I was interviewed and the next week after I've got the good news. On the very next week, I started my first day as Account Executive. Very easy, right? I still grateful for that.
Maybe, because it was so easy I miscalculate the price of its opportunity. Or maybe, I misinterpreted the situations because I totally trapped inside its big complainer community (YEAH we complain about many things every day!). Above all, I spent most of my day hearing the complaints about overwork, overtime, under-appreciation, or inequality of working portion that leads to the office drama season 7. I have to admit the fatigue not really came from the job, but the drama itself. I was drained and thinking about I want to conquer the first year even faster. Yeah, I planned to have a long-term career path, because I don't use to be a quitter.
A STRONG DOSE OF RIGHT MOTIVATION KEEPS YOU ALIVE
Some people encouraged each other with "The worst will be over eventually" words, or "This too shall be passed", "Good things come at the right time", you name it. I cannot take that kind of motivational dose. I need stronger one because I believe suffer is part of a process, not a punishment. If it should be over, then it should be over in the best way. Then I adopted, "Everything must be taught me something". Immediately, I can enjoy each pain and gain around it.
I just realized, a good motivational mindset served a great amount of lively adventure. After that, I literally unsubscribed/unfollow motivational quotes. Because you don't need many quotes. Having many is useless if you just believe in it for a sec, then forget it on the next sec. It's better to just have one, but very strong and you really believe in it.
BE CAREFUL, IF YOU MOVE AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, YOU MAY BE CRUSHED LIKE A THUNDER
After 2 years, I decided to left the place. Not because of the pressure inside it, but I wonder "who I will become if I was inside it?", "What if it is not who I supposed to be?", and of course, my parents insisted me so much to quit. I feel like I have learnt the end-to-end of the process inside it. I want to learn more, I want to see the industry holistically. I wonder what people doing on the other diciplines inside this industry. Above that, I don't want to learn from a far, I want to experience it.
I moved to a place that I thought great enough for me to learn just like my previous place (It is literally a great place!). Not literally on my aspiration position, but I thought at least I can experience different things. I leant the different on its dicipline on the first month, and just after it I really frustated! I don't feel the progressivity of learning that I used to feel before. Maybe because all tasks have been distributed well to each role, so everyone was carrying distinguished obligation that requires specific skills. In sudden, I just failed to grasp the meaning of tasks distribution, because it erased the progressivity that I wish I have.
Then not even 5 months, I quited. I cannot endure the feeling of wasting my time (I'm being very subjective here, if you were me you may think the opposite of it).
I realized, I was dumping the best because I want to have more. I just being very greedy that time. My head literally repeating the sound of my previous Managing Director while she was telling her past stories, about how she worked and worked until she arrived on her position and have a small amount of life balance. What she learned from her past is "be careful with what you wish". She have more career but she have less life. She was trying hard to fix it. Now, I really love to see her social media, how she makes her family time and working time balance (You may not see many with that kind of balance on her position!).
I wish someone warn me "If you wish to move at the speed of light, you have to get ready if you hit like thunder". I thought I did hit like thunder. Now I understand, every bad thing on my previous job is just the best way to learn for me. I got the ideal speed, many options to learn, and the most important one is the immediate experience of it. I do all the things with my own hand, I feel the pressure, I feel the gain. I was wasting my bless.
IF YOU SINKED TO THE DEEP OF THE SEA, ALL YOU CAN DO IS CHILL-AND-SWIM TO THE SURFACE
I want to seriously pursue my aspiration position as a Strategic Planner position. Why? Because I've never been feeling so learning on other activities. It feeds my curiosity well. Its challenging and I love it. (Unlike other challenge, it challenges me to discover the latent problem and make it sound). I feel the progressivity in learning.
While I'm still applying for the job, I have to welcoming jobless life that covered with freelancing activities. Simply because it gives me the flexibility should I have my opportunity and of course food to survive. Honestly, it was very uncomfortable for me knowing after months I've been experiencing lots of rejection, more than ever.
It must taught me something. Yes, it is.
It serves me a big new perspective about life, about the meaning of persistence and surrender perhaps. It builds up my mental muscles to accept failures as if it were victories. I've been learning to be more grateful than ever instead of complaining (Seriously, complaining is a true toxic! It creates a bias on given situation, to only see the worst. But, thankfully grateful can be the cure of it).
And of course the bottom line of it and also greatest one is the virtue of patience. I should not speed up anything on the first place. I should not being so greedy.
At least I'm learning something new here, then it won't feel that bad.
In short, I've been working in a place with great turn over. They literally open for recruitment every day. To be honest, I got the job in easy way (compared to my other college friends). A week after my graduation I was interviewed and the next week after I've got the good news. On the very next week, I started my first day as Account Executive. Very easy, right? I still grateful for that.
Maybe, because it was so easy I miscalculate the price of its opportunity. Or maybe, I misinterpreted the situations because I totally trapped inside its big complainer community (YEAH we complain about many things every day!). Above all, I spent most of my day hearing the complaints about overwork, overtime, under-appreciation, or inequality of working portion that leads to the office drama season 7. I have to admit the fatigue not really came from the job, but the drama itself. I was drained and thinking about I want to conquer the first year even faster. Yeah, I planned to have a long-term career path, because I don't use to be a quitter.
A STRONG DOSE OF RIGHT MOTIVATION KEEPS YOU ALIVE
Some people encouraged each other with "The worst will be over eventually" words, or "This too shall be passed", "Good things come at the right time", you name it. I cannot take that kind of motivational dose. I need stronger one because I believe suffer is part of a process, not a punishment. If it should be over, then it should be over in the best way. Then I adopted, "Everything must be taught me something". Immediately, I can enjoy each pain and gain around it.
I just realized, a good motivational mindset served a great amount of lively adventure. After that, I literally unsubscribed/unfollow motivational quotes. Because you don't need many quotes. Having many is useless if you just believe in it for a sec, then forget it on the next sec. It's better to just have one, but very strong and you really believe in it.
BE CAREFUL, IF YOU MOVE AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, YOU MAY BE CRUSHED LIKE A THUNDER
After 2 years, I decided to left the place. Not because of the pressure inside it, but I wonder "who I will become if I was inside it?", "What if it is not who I supposed to be?", and of course, my parents insisted me so much to quit. I feel like I have learnt the end-to-end of the process inside it. I want to learn more, I want to see the industry holistically. I wonder what people doing on the other diciplines inside this industry. Above that, I don't want to learn from a far, I want to experience it.
I moved to a place that I thought great enough for me to learn just like my previous place (It is literally a great place!). Not literally on my aspiration position, but I thought at least I can experience different things. I leant the different on its dicipline on the first month, and just after it I really frustated! I don't feel the progressivity of learning that I used to feel before. Maybe because all tasks have been distributed well to each role, so everyone was carrying distinguished obligation that requires specific skills. In sudden, I just failed to grasp the meaning of tasks distribution, because it erased the progressivity that I wish I have.
Then not even 5 months, I quited. I cannot endure the feeling of wasting my time (I'm being very subjective here, if you were me you may think the opposite of it).
I realized, I was dumping the best because I want to have more. I just being very greedy that time. My head literally repeating the sound of my previous Managing Director while she was telling her past stories, about how she worked and worked until she arrived on her position and have a small amount of life balance. What she learned from her past is "be careful with what you wish". She have more career but she have less life. She was trying hard to fix it. Now, I really love to see her social media, how she makes her family time and working time balance (You may not see many with that kind of balance on her position!).
I wish someone warn me "If you wish to move at the speed of light, you have to get ready if you hit like thunder". I thought I did hit like thunder. Now I understand, every bad thing on my previous job is just the best way to learn for me. I got the ideal speed, many options to learn, and the most important one is the immediate experience of it. I do all the things with my own hand, I feel the pressure, I feel the gain. I was wasting my bless.
IF YOU SINKED TO THE DEEP OF THE SEA, ALL YOU CAN DO IS CHILL-AND-SWIM TO THE SURFACE
I want to seriously pursue my aspiration position as a Strategic Planner position. Why? Because I've never been feeling so learning on other activities. It feeds my curiosity well. Its challenging and I love it. (Unlike other challenge, it challenges me to discover the latent problem and make it sound). I feel the progressivity in learning.
While I'm still applying for the job, I have to welcoming jobless life that covered with freelancing activities. Simply because it gives me the flexibility should I have my opportunity and of course food to survive. Honestly, it was very uncomfortable for me knowing after months I've been experiencing lots of rejection, more than ever.
It must taught me something. Yes, it is.
It serves me a big new perspective about life, about the meaning of persistence and surrender perhaps. It builds up my mental muscles to accept failures as if it were victories. I've been learning to be more grateful than ever instead of complaining (Seriously, complaining is a true toxic! It creates a bias on given situation, to only see the worst. But, thankfully grateful can be the cure of it).
And of course the bottom line of it and also greatest one is the virtue of patience. I should not speed up anything on the first place. I should not being so greedy.
At least I'm learning something new here, then it won't feel that bad.
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